


Out Of Tune

by InfinitiveSplitter



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Sherlock Holmes, First Kiss, M/M, Mary Morstan and John Watson's Wedding, Self-Hatred, Weddings, Worried John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinitiveSplitter/pseuds/InfinitiveSplitter
Summary: Sherlock's desperation for John's wedding to be perfect becomes the thing to ruin it.





	Out Of Tune

John and Mary stood together, ready for their first dance, as Sherlock stood above them, hands shaking. He needed this to be the best day of John's life, the one he'd remember for the rest of his life. Sherlock had spent so long obsessing over the details of this wedding, yet inside he was mourning the loss of ever having a chance with John again.

His shaking hand raised the bow up to the violin. Gracefully, sliding the bow across the strings, he drew a long and tender note from the instrument. 1.53 seconds too long. He closed his eyes at the idiotic mistake, knowing he would be up till God-Knows-When replaying the error over and over in his head.

John and Mary hadn't noticed it, too busy slowly swaying to the music of Sherlock's violin. "Breath, you idiot" he thought to himself. He couldn't ruin this now. Even though he couldn't have John, he would do everything in his power to make him happy, make this day perfect for him. He continued without mistakes, occasionally looking up to see John's handsome face smile at Mary. About halfway through the song, his shaking had become too much for the instrument and the bow slipped down the strings, creating a horrible screech.

 

This time everyone noticed. Everyone stared.

 

John and Mary had stopped dancing by now. Sherlock, John had noticed, was sweating, shaking and pale.

 

"Sherlock?" John asked, voice full of concern, as he stepped away from Mary and towards Sherlock.

 

Sherlock felt as if he was going to pass out. Repeating the word "IDIOT" in his head, Sherlock felt the anger grow within him and could tell by the growing tension in John's face that he was turning red.

 

He had failed John Watson.

 

"Excuse me." Sherlock whispered before turning on his heel, fists clenched, and walking out of the hall. He was met by a corridor that would inevitably lead him to the exit if he continued walking. But he couldn't. He was stood frozen just outside the doors to the hall, the hall where John and Mary would have had the perfect first dance...had he not ruined it all.

Turning towards the wall, he punched it with all his strength. Realizing he was too far gone to feel any pain, knowing it wouldn't be enough to release the flood of emotion, he grasped his violin by its neck and slammed it against the wall in swift movements.

Tuning pegs scattered the floor, strings snapped from their tight hold. The wood splintered his hands as he hit it against the floor again and again and again until he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

John.

Dropping what remained of his violin, he turned to him. A sudden flood of embarrassment filled Sherlock as he realized what he looked like. Tears on his checks, blood on his hands- John could see it all. John was saying something to him but he couldn't hear what, he could only relish in the feeling of John's hands on either side of his head and the settling of his hammering heart.

 

John, however, was not relaxing. With every second Sherlock didn't respond to him, his stomach dropped impossibly lower.

"Sherlock, please" John tried again. This time Sherlock blinked and mouthed something that looked like "I'm sorry".

"Bloody hell" John swore as he pulled Sherlock by his shoulders into a hug. John tilted his head up, his mouth close to Sherlock's ear as he said "Please tell me what's wrong. I don't understand".

Sherlock sighed. He was being selfish. This was John's wedding day and he had destroyed it with his temper tantrum. John deserved to know. Sherlock didn't anticipate, however, that he would tell John the way he did in the following moments.

Sherlock slowly shifted his head from John's shoulder to his neck, resting his lips on the side of John's throat. He knew John felt it, but Sherlock felt no attempt of John trying to push him away. He gently brushed his nose up John's neck to his jaw, where this time, he pressed a kiss to John's soft skin. 

That was all it took.

Both boys turned their heads to meet at each other's lips. The kiss was nothing delicate, a result of all the withheld emotion and frustration. Their noses bumped into each other but, as this was Sherlock's first kiss, it was to be expected. John pushed Sherlock against the wall, fingers weaving in and out of his curls.

Sherlock's grunt was what snapped John out of...what ever this was.

He stepped back as if they were two repelling magnets, a look of shock on his face.

"Oh, shit." John swore, his hands pulling at his hair as he tried to understand what he had just done. Sherlock just stayed where he was, as if John was still pushing him against the wall. "Oh, God. Mary. The baby." John was panicking now, breathing erratically. Sherlock slid down the wall. What could Sherlock "Home-Wrecker" Holmes do to rectify the situation. There was no coming back from this. Sherlock hated himself for doing this to John: it was like he was pulling the rug from right under John's feet. He couldn't run and leave John like this, he also couldn't stay and complicate things. Doing the only thing he knew, he looked at John for help.

 

But John had already gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not intend for this to get so sad :/
> 
> Apologies.


End file.
